Questions From My Wife III: Take Me Out to the Jock Jam
A week ago last Thursday, a group of us went to see the local minor league baseball team take on their major league counterparts at the end of spring training. I learned many things:
1) Baseball is kinda boring if you don't have a beer and/or hot dog.
2) I'm not cool because I don't have a strap on my sunglasses so I can wear them backwards around my neck. Actually, I was probably already not cool because I got my sunglasses from a dollar store.
3) People-watching at stadiums comes second maybe to airports, but it's still pretty good.
4) We've run out of sporting event music.
This directly ties in with the third question from my wife:
Are there still people out there recording jock jams? If so, why do they still play "Are You Ready for This" (alternate choice - "Everybody Dance Now") all the time? Were we in high school at the artistic peak of the jock jame genre?
In high school, due to copius supplies of pep rallies, I believe that our bodies and minds were subjugated to higher quantities of the jock jam. We saw countless little bitchy girls get thrown in the air to songs ranging from "It Takes Two (To Make A Thing Go Right and/or Out Of Sight)" to "Rock and Roll Part 2" (or "Hey, We Beat The Hell Out Of You Cause We're Awesome So Suck It"). So maybe one answer is that we're not around high school gymnasiums as much as we used to be.
But you do have a point. Looking at the track listings for ESPN Presents Jock Jams, Volumes One, Two, Three, Four, and even Five reveals the extremely rigorous process a song must go through to be denoted a jam of jock. But seriously, they were really stretching there on volume 5.... "Ray of Light"? Usher? Actually, I have no idea what makes a song escape Billboard's Top 40 to be a tried and true "jock jam." Are there any hits from the last 5 years that are played with reasonable frequency at professional ballpark? Maybe "Hey Ya", but it's getting really close to that 5-year threshold.
So what's the deal? Are people not recording jock jams anymore? Or are announcers too far out of the loop to play anything modern? My guess is that there's a little bit of both. House music just isn't as fashionable as it was in the early 90s. Current songwriters have abandoned exploring what particular dance steps one must undertake to create the Tootsie Roll. Also, I think all the stadiums just have those 5 discs on shuffle. Why mess with what works?
9 comments:
I'm going to have a series of those songs stuck in my head for the rest of the day now. "Ray of Light" cannot be a jock jam. Bad CD producers.
Also, are you still updating your books read area on the side of your page? Cuz I know you've read more books than that.
Yeah, thanks for the musical mental litter this afternoon. Sigh.
V: Updated the one, but no, I've been slow. And I haven't added the audiobooks I've listened to. I would guess that you read 4 books for every one that I finish.
E: Sorry. I promise I'll move away from bad music shortly.
N.E.R.D.'s "Rockstar"--the remix--is the closest thing I've heard to a jock jam in a long time. Although, this is a world in which "Cotton Eye Joe" is considered a jock jam, so...
I don't know about current music. All I know is the last time I went to a Pawsocks game (our local minor league team), they repeatedly played the Simpsons "softball" song. That was just awesome.
I still think the milkshake/bring the boys to the lawn and Fergie's London Bridge could be good jock jams - if only they weren't so dirty. I guess you just can't do better than "y'all ready for this" (ba da bum bumbum ba dum ba dum ba bumbum ba dum ba dum bum...)
I love it when the teams start relying on where players are from. The local team Expat and I used to go watch, the Altoona (PA) Curve, used Men at Work/"Land Down Under" for their token Australian and, somewhat more unfortunately, Toto/"Africa" for the one Suth African on the team.
Let's not forget "Rocky," though, folks. And that song they used to use on the Twix commercials, that "bomp, bomp, chicka-chicka, Oh Yeahhh" one (I think it was in Ferris Bueller's Day Off).
Damn. Now it's stuck in my head.
At least it's not Su Susudio.
Who let the dogs out?
All good points, let's take them one at a time.
C: "Cotton eyed Joe" is, I believe, currently only played in regulation at Yankee Stadium. But these are the same cretins that play "Whoomp, There It Is" after every home run and "New York, New York" at the end of every game. Sinatra if the Yankees win, Liza Minelli if they lose.
K: Every team could just solely play "Y'all Ready For This" (actually "Get Ready 4 This") and I would be happy.
S: I'm not sure I would characterize the Rocky theme as a jock jam, per se, but good effort.
DG: Is that a question or a comment?
After a few days of thought, I've come to the conclusion that it takes a few years of public exposure before it becomes acceptable to play a song in an arena. It should just be about the right time for them to start gettin' jiggy wit' it.
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