August 13, 2007

Keep It Up/Hang It Up - August 2007

(Blatantly stolen from the Jordan Jesse Go! podcast.)

Keep It Up!

  • Golden Oreos -- So much better than regular Oreos, plus I don't have that chocolate cookie breath all day. Keep it up, Golden Oreos!
  • Jack Daniels -- Smooth, dark golden elixir of the gods. You guys can keep your fancy wines. I'll take the sour mash any day o' the week. Keep it up, Jack Daniels!
  • Naps on a hot weekend day -- Air conditioning can't keep up with the 100+ temperature? Ain't nothin' better than a two hour nap to keep that energy going for the upcoming workweek. Keep it up, naps!
  • Unclaimed Baggage Store -- You know, it's hard to find stuff in you and most of it isn't worth buying, but if there's a better way to blow 2 hours in Scottsboro, AL, I haven't heard of it. Keep it up, Unclaimed Baggage Store!
Hang It Up!
  • Degrading Salinas family member trifecta -- We just had a solid reunion, now you, you, and you have to go making a mockery of us all this past week. Shame is brought upon us all. Hang it up, degrading Salinas family member trifecta.
  • Abortion truck drivers -- Yeah, we know having an abortion is a hard process for anyone to take. But you don't need to complicate things by printing billboard images of poorly photoshopped bloody aborted quasi-fetuses and drive around town with them up on your truck. Are those even real pictures? Boo. Hang it up, abortion truck drivers.
  • Broken AC in my office -- Yeah, we know it's hot out. All the more reason for you to KEEP WORKING! Hang it up, broken AC in my office.
  • The sun -- You've killed my zucchini plants and are now threatening my freedom to walk outside. That's it, sun. You're on my last nerve. You better start holding some of those rays back, else I shake my fist harder. Hang it up, sun. (But not completely. That would suck in a near opposite way.)